Continuation of my previous post.
Yesterday on Sirasa News First, new issues were highlighted, showing a row at the "Kaduwela Pradeshiya Sabha" meetings regarding this issue and an angry UNP Paliamentarian speaking at Parliament as to why they dont disclose the identity of the politician in concern, and say "Majour Political Party". He was pissed coz when you say Majour Political Party there are only 2. SLFP and the UNP.
Anyway, people who can lip read sinhala could hear him say "Somawansa Amerasinghege Nangi (Younger Sister)".
With all this happening one of my friends couldn't help but comment on the Women Arrested. Saying "Fit Badu". :)
Anyways I think Sirasa news is the program to watch. It's soo freaking Hilarious. It's like the Sri Lankan version of "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewert. (If you watch it with a applicable sense of humour).
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is At work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in The bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little Boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a football."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$400"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the Lover
Are in the cupboard together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have football boots."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" !
Boy - "$600"
Man - "Sold."
A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you
To church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit In the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Now, don't start that sh*t again. You're in MY cupboard now"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ok.. firstly neither am I a Sirasa Fan (although I love the MTV porgramme's) and the last thing I am is a JVP'er.So now that's clear everybody know the row between the two. If you dont, VIC's the man to ask. So now JVP have come back at Sirasa calling it "Koti (Tiger=LTTE) Sirasa". So if you guys have been watching the news yesterday or day before, you'd have seen a big publicity given to a Police raid on a brothel.
Why? I mean these are done on a daily basis. And then re-opened and patronized by the same cops. So why make such a big fuss, featuring this brothel on two occasions? Any guesses?
Turns out that the Owner of the so called brothel, is none other than Mr. Somawansa Amarasinghe's (One of the JVP Leaders) sister, according to an email I received and the hinting on the news.
Turns out that the Owner of the so called brothel, is none other than Mr. Somawansa Amarasinghe's (One of the JVP Leaders) sister, according to an email I received and the hinting on the news.This is not to support Sirasa or anything but, just funny of how people can dig up some sort of dirt, and feature it on "Prime Time News". These guys are turning out to be like the Leader (Sunday News Paper).
The much awaited post (after my take on the 1st leg) is finally ready for publishing. My apologies for not coming through sooner. This was not due to "Hang Over" problems but being drained out on Sunday, and loaded up with work on Monday. The trip yielded as many up's and down's you'd expected from a proper Roller Coaster ride. (I haven't had the luxury of it yet, but traveling in 120 Route Bus is a close second I believe).Colombo-Kandy
Traveled in style. Our group/batch had organized a Bus (not just any bus.. one of those Jet Wing Tourist busses. Breakfast was provided on the bus, and lunch was arranged at Devon. Altogether there were 45 of us, from the batch, so got the chance to talk to most of them, and figure out who's doing what and catch up on old times. Basically nothing to complain about, and this part of the journey could be attributed to the "incline" of the Roller Coaster.
The Match
26-5 Trinity. Doesn't that say it all? I'm sure most of you have read the paper review, watched the match on TV or watched it live. So I won’t go into detail. Except the fact that we freaking lost! I mean the Royal Team looked so disorganized. I think the injury of the Center, Senanayake had a big effect in upsetting the team. Basically as predicted the lack of a proper Place Kicker lost us 8 points. 2 Penalties Nikki (Captain of the side, tried he's hand or foot at kicking) screwed up, and a kickable conversion was messed by Hassen him self. Something Jamaldeen should spend some time on.Everybody looked lazy, or burnt out well before the 2nd half. Forwards didn't secure the ball at rucks or mauls and the line didn't charge the kicks made by the full back. Although the kicks didn't have the power not the height, when going for “up & unders”. Tackles were slow and lacked power. When that "Sean" dude started running it took like 3 guys to bring him down. Not that he's that big, but our guys weren't going low. I attribute the lack of fitness, to the warming up. They warmed up and did their drills for more than Half an Hour I think. Funny part of their drills was that during the tackles, they kept tackling late, which was the same case in the match and in the Pathana match too. Wonder why the Coach hasn't been speaking to the lads about this.
The Trinity side looked far superior and looked with brains on top of their shoulders. Made far lesser mistakes and made good the opportunities they got. The working of the line was pretty good, with the wingers cutting in, unlike our chaps who were caught thinking and getting tackled in the process, lack of forwards to support and eventually turning the good ball over.
Clearly this part can be attributed to the "down" side of the ride.
For those Automobile fans : A Ducati, Black Hummer and an RX8 were among the Vehicles that caught my eye.
Here are some reviews :
• Shanaka (You need to organize that site mate, or start you blog mate)
• Sunday Observer
• The Nation
And the much awaited 2nd Leg Video off MTV/Sirasa TV (as I mentioned in my earlier post, download this fast, as they might take it off soon)
( Best Viewed on 360 X 288 Pixels Resolution Screen Size, To enhance Picture Quality Connect Your PC's VGA LINE OUT to your TELEVISION LINE IN )
Grounds-Bungalow
After being heart broken during the match, the consolation was some sort of a fireworks display. 100 bucks seemed ok, considering the fire works. Anyway, the deal was I come to Kandy with one set, and stay the night with another set, thereby getting to spend time with more buggers, and in the end have more fun. Well the start to that wasn’t' that great. Why? The Van that they came had broken down on the way, so it was in the garage.
That meant we had to walk from the Grounds to Cargills, to stock up on essential items. Funny thing was, there were only few people that we didn’t know, each person I bumped into at Cargills was from Colombo, like the entire place was filled with them. Wonder whether it's the same feeling people get when they go to places like Melbourne?
After filling up on stocks, decided to grab dinner from the next door KFC, as the lunch at the Bungalow ended up being too authentic (looking at the card they gave us, it doesn’t say anything of Authentic Chinese, only Traditional Sri Lankan & Western Cuisine) for the liking of my friends. After that it was a bloody long walk, in the night back to the bungalow, with stocks in hand, and my heavy bag. Walking around the Nuwera Weva, in some what darkness and the incline and decline of the hills, could be definitely attributed to more downward slopes in the Roller Coaster ride. To add to it, once you get there you realize that the Mobile Signal of all three operators, is only available in the garden at one particular spot. :) Need I say more?
The Night
Hmm, since we did not have transport to check out any night spot in Kandy, we decided to stay in and get high. It was fun, watching each other getting high on their own potent nectars, from Martini (Yes, one dude drank a whole bottle of it, don’t ask why?) to Smirnoff to White Rum and a bit of left over OR. As is always the case we found the shandy running out, why because some dude bought like 7 bottles of Coke at Cargills, and finished their stock. I'm pretty sure we sang the chorus's of pretty much every song we could think of from English to Sinhala, with the accompaniment of one of our chappies strumming away at a guitar till he's fingers were numb. This point of the trip can be attributed to the highest point of the ride. Felt we were closer to heaven at that moment (no no, I wasn't that high, and didn't get myself blind drunk). It was called a night around 3am, although many of the souls were knocked out before that.
The Morning
I woke up around 6am. No hang-overs as I was well within the limit. One of our buddies who was called upon for some emergency “rolling” had to leave early, to catch up with his set. After saying bye to him, I got out my IPOD, looked around at the rest of the buggers fast asleep. The dude at the Bungalow was cleaning up and asked me how the night was. I told him it was good, and asked him whether we kept him up with all that singing. He just smiled. Offered me a cup of tea and started chatting, asking me what I do for a living where I am from etc. He then got on to say how there were lots of people from Colombo in the City last evening, and lot of nice girls and how he could tell they were from Colombo. So I asked him How? He was telling me by the way they dressed. Supposedly Kandy is more conservative, girls don’t dress in tight/mini skirts to go to Town. Only when they go Clubbing or similar sort of places. The disadvantages of a small town, is everybody knows everybody and rumors spread fast if you wear something short, or do something not so conservative. :)
After that, I strolled down the road for a morning walk. Funny thing was people kept staring at me, that is when I realized I was still wearing my skinny and shorts. I don’t think many people in Kandy are use to seeing a Hairy bugger walking in the morning with an IPOD. I ended up near the Nuwara Weva (Kandy Lake), and was chilling on a bench, my god the atmosphere was so serene, no hustle an bustle of the City, (maybe coz it was a Sunday) little kids dressed in white going to Sunday School. I decided I need to live in Kandy. Soon a "Bulath" (Beatle) selling dude pushed his cart and started selling. He seemed to be a regular coz all the people passing by smiled and said "Good Morning" and gave me a weird look. I came to the bungalow a good one an half hours later to find about half of the group awake and chatting about the previous night, while one by one the others got up, some complaining about Hang-Overs and others still High.
This part was the lateral movement from the previous highs reached on the Roller Coaster.
Kandy-Colombo
Just before we left, we got the bill. Realized that the bed tea, served on a table cost 30 bucks each, the string hoppers, pol (coconut) sambol, potato and fish curry cost each person 250 bucks. Need I say more?
The van was fixed, in the sense the alternator had got fried. So the driver had charged the battery over night at some other joint, and hooked it up, disconnected the everything that could kill the battery (Brake Lights) and we drove off to Colombo without A/C as well. Did I mention that I got stuck on a jumper seat from Kandy to Colombo? Oh yes, my butt didn’t find that too entertaining specially a big bugger like me self. The repercussions of that ride were felt all through out the next day I tell you. So you would guess that coming back was a bit of a Low.
There, that’s the end to the Roller Coaster Weekend I had. Hope you enjoyed reading it.
The Trinity side looked far superior and looked with brains on top of their shoulders. Made far lesser mistakes and made good the opportunities they got. The working of the line was pretty good, with the wingers cutting in, unlike our chaps who were caught thinking and getting tackled in the process, lack of forwards to support and eventually turning the good ball over.
Clearly this part can be attributed to the "down" side of the ride.
For those Automobile fans : A Ducati, Black Hummer and an RX8 were among the Vehicles that caught my eye.
Here are some reviews :
• Shanaka (You need to organize that site mate, or start you blog mate)
• Sunday Observer
• The Nation
And the much awaited 2nd Leg Video off MTV/Sirasa TV (as I mentioned in my earlier post, download this fast, as they might take it off soon)
( Best Viewed on 360 X 288 Pixels Resolution Screen Size, To enhance Picture Quality Connect Your PC's VGA LINE OUT to your TELEVISION LINE IN )
Grounds-Bungalow
After being heart broken during the match, the consolation was some sort of a fireworks display. 100 bucks seemed ok, considering the fire works. Anyway, the deal was I come to Kandy with one set, and stay the night with another set, thereby getting to spend time with more buggers, and in the end have more fun. Well the start to that wasn’t' that great. Why? The Van that they came had broken down on the way, so it was in the garage.
That meant we had to walk from the Grounds to Cargills, to stock up on essential items. Funny thing was, there were only few people that we didn’t know, each person I bumped into at Cargills was from Colombo, like the entire place was filled with them. Wonder whether it's the same feeling people get when they go to places like Melbourne?
After filling up on stocks, decided to grab dinner from the next door KFC, as the lunch at the Bungalow ended up being too authentic (looking at the card they gave us, it doesn’t say anything of Authentic Chinese, only Traditional Sri Lankan & Western Cuisine) for the liking of my friends. After that it was a bloody long walk, in the night back to the bungalow, with stocks in hand, and my heavy bag. Walking around the Nuwera Weva, in some what darkness and the incline and decline of the hills, could be definitely attributed to more downward slopes in the Roller Coaster ride. To add to it, once you get there you realize that the Mobile Signal of all three operators, is only available in the garden at one particular spot. :) Need I say more?
The Night
Hmm, since we did not have transport to check out any night spot in Kandy, we decided to stay in and get high. It was fun, watching each other getting high on their own potent nectars, from Martini (Yes, one dude drank a whole bottle of it, don’t ask why?) to Smirnoff to White Rum and a bit of left over OR. As is always the case we found the shandy running out, why because some dude bought like 7 bottles of Coke at Cargills, and finished their stock. I'm pretty sure we sang the chorus's of pretty much every song we could think of from English to Sinhala, with the accompaniment of one of our chappies strumming away at a guitar till he's fingers were numb. This point of the trip can be attributed to the highest point of the ride. Felt we were closer to heaven at that moment (no no, I wasn't that high, and didn't get myself blind drunk). It was called a night around 3am, although many of the souls were knocked out before that.
The Morning
I woke up around 6am. No hang-overs as I was well within the limit. One of our buddies who was called upon for some emergency “rolling” had to leave early, to catch up with his set. After saying bye to him, I got out my IPOD, looked around at the rest of the buggers fast asleep. The dude at the Bungalow was cleaning up and asked me how the night was. I told him it was good, and asked him whether we kept him up with all that singing. He just smiled. Offered me a cup of tea and started chatting, asking me what I do for a living where I am from etc. He then got on to say how there were lots of people from Colombo in the City last evening, and lot of nice girls and how he could tell they were from Colombo. So I asked him How? He was telling me by the way they dressed. Supposedly Kandy is more conservative, girls don’t dress in tight/mini skirts to go to Town. Only when they go Clubbing or similar sort of places. The disadvantages of a small town, is everybody knows everybody and rumors spread fast if you wear something short, or do something not so conservative. :)
After that, I strolled down the road for a morning walk. Funny thing was people kept staring at me, that is when I realized I was still wearing my skinny and shorts. I don’t think many people in Kandy are use to seeing a Hairy bugger walking in the morning with an IPOD. I ended up near the Nuwara Weva (Kandy Lake), and was chilling on a bench, my god the atmosphere was so serene, no hustle an bustle of the City, (maybe coz it was a Sunday) little kids dressed in white going to Sunday School. I decided I need to live in Kandy. Soon a "Bulath" (Beatle) selling dude pushed his cart and started selling. He seemed to be a regular coz all the people passing by smiled and said "Good Morning" and gave me a weird look. I came to the bungalow a good one an half hours later to find about half of the group awake and chatting about the previous night, while one by one the others got up, some complaining about Hang-Overs and others still High.
This part was the lateral movement from the previous highs reached on the Roller Coaster.
Kandy-Colombo
Just before we left, we got the bill. Realized that the bed tea, served on a table cost 30 bucks each, the string hoppers, pol (coconut) sambol, potato and fish curry cost each person 250 bucks. Need I say more?
The van was fixed, in the sense the alternator had got fried. So the driver had charged the battery over night at some other joint, and hooked it up, disconnected the everything that could kill the battery (Brake Lights) and we drove off to Colombo without A/C as well. Did I mention that I got stuck on a jumper seat from Kandy to Colombo? Oh yes, my butt didn’t find that too entertaining specially a big bugger like me self. The repercussions of that ride were felt all through out the next day I tell you. So you would guess that coming back was a bit of a Low.
There, that’s the end to the Roller Coaster Weekend I had. Hope you enjoyed reading it.
Ok it's the Bradby Weekend, and many of you will be heading down for the Game, so I believe this might come in handy. Even if you don't please bookmark the page, so it'll be around for the next Rugger season (providing that you don’t reformat your machine).
Objective :
Make the geek in you, sound like the "Ultimate source of Rugby Knowledge" and make you the cool dude. (I cannot guarantee whether it'll get you chicks. Your looks will have a big say in that.. await a post on how to improve your looks)
Assumptions :
In order to follow the command's you'll need a prior understanding of the game. For eg :
a) Ability to tell your team from the other.
b) Ability to tell the Referee (referred to as Ref in the rest of post) apart from the players .
c) Tell the linesman (the dude in shorts on either side, with a flag in hand, no they are not cheerleaders of either side) apart from the security personal on the side lines, and maybe the Sirasa TV crew.
d) Relative understanding of positions. (No not the Kamasutra and When I say hooker, I don't mean Russian.)
Finally.. Things to Shout Out :
1. "Support", "Forwards", "Over It"
This is when your boy gets tackled and a bunch of players are trampling his genitalia. A common incident that happens in regular intervals. You wouldn't look out of sorts by shouting this.2. "Off Side"
The difference between off-side and on-side is a fine line that even the Ref, has trouble defining. Therefore feel free to shout out, at usual junctures of the game. (Obviously not during a stoppage of play though. Eg - Half Time)
3. "Holding On Sir", "Not releasing"
Unlike no 1., please feel free to shout this out, when the opponent’s boy gets tackled (with the ball of course, would be rather embarrassing if he appears not to have the ball with him). Please make sure that you give ample time for your boys to go about trampling the Opponent.4. "Work it down", "Pass it down"
This never happens, because the coach and the players beg to differ, but the "ultimately cool" thing to shout. Make sure you shout it out when the ball is given to those skinny legged players that stand in what would looks like a line across the field. Hence the word "line".5. “Get-em”, “Bring him down”, “Deepan Okata”
When an opponent starts to run with the ball. This doesn’t mean that they are going to wait till you shout the above to tackle the chap. But after hearing your encouragement your team might decide to treat him in a "friendly manner" while tackling him.6. "Shove Royal" - assuming your an RC supporter.
This is when a bunch of the fat buggers (Fat Doesn't mean they look less sexy, it's actually more - for the women folk out there) from your team get together and seem to run into a bunch of your opponents. The players must be on their feet, and must continue to curse each other while the Ref isn't looking. The moment they drop to the ground, find it applicable to shout something like "Out it".7. "Send Him Out"
When a Ref pulls up a player for a friendly chit chat and discuss the day's proceedings, maybe ask the bloke whether he has any cute sister's, shout the above at the top of your voice. Oh BTW, make sure the player in concern is not wearing the Jersey of the Team you happen to support. If the Ref hears you clearly, he will take the opportunity to flash something yellow (I meant a card.. lol), and send that chappie for a well deserved break.8. "Referee Hora"
When the Ref doesn't hear you in no 7, or the situation in no 7 is happening to one from your team, or if your side is losing shout it out. Specially if a Sirasa TV Camera Crew is nearby. If frustrations run wild, and you find throwable objects nearby don’t be shy to aim at the linesman. The cardinal rule is not to get caught. As soon as the crime was committed, look at the people around you to avoid suspicion. More information can be gathered by speaking to your friends at Thurstan and Isipathana.9. "Good Touch"
When a boy on your side, is about to make an attempt to kick the ball away, you can shout this out in encouragement so he'd stop eyeing the cute chick in the grand stand and remember to kick the ball out, even though it doesn't seem to travel that far, make sure you applaud and try to figure out who the bloke was eyeing. (That might be your GF with her Rich Parents, while your stuck in the Concrete Tiers)10. "Ball Out"
This is when a scrum, that is when the heavier dude's of the teams face each other and appear to kneel and pray for the ball to come out their way, technically speaking the Ref, doesn't like them resting their knees. As soon as you see the ball bubbling out on the opponent's side, shout this out. Not that anybody on the field will hear you, and turn this into an opportunity. It will simply appear to the people around you, that your on "top" of the game.BONUS : "Brian Homa"
If the Rugger match has been rated as popular as the "Sirasa Super Star" programme, you might find the likes of Mr. Brian Thomas giving an introduction prior to the start of the match. Feel free to shout this out, with an opportunity to be selected for the next “Sirasa Super Star” star search. It would be ideal if you could get a friend to shout out "Tell us something we don't know" in unison.
Disclaimer :
Please note that I will not be held responsible for any negative feedback you receive after following the above. If in case you get into trouble, I'm pretty sure that you have missed atleast one step. In doubt please shout out what the others' shout. Find out what team they support prior to this.
I'd also encourage you to count the no of opposition supporters around you, prior to shouting out the above mentioned. A life insurance policy is also a wise option unless you are a hefty bugger that can take a few blows or a skinny bugger that can squeeze through a tight situation. Note - Don't count on your friends to bail you out. Specially the drunk one's.
If any good comes about (I sound very optimistic. Don’t I?) after following my steps please recommend my blog to your friends, who are dying to be as "cool" as you are. I will soon be starting up an Approved Charity where you could donate your life savings towards a movement that would encourage Geeks to be the New Cool Dude's in town.
Contributors are encouraged to add their own things to shout, but would emphasize that I will not be responsible for any negative outcome. If it is positive, I already thought about that, but had to limit my list to 10. :)
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