What to Shout at Rugger Matches

Ok it's the Bradby Weekend, and many of you will be heading down for the Game, so I believe this might come in handy. Even if you don't please bookmark the page, so it'll be around for the next Rugger season (providing that you don’t reformat your machine).

Objective :

Make the geek in you, sound like the "Ultimate source of Rugby Knowledge" and make you the cool dude. (I cannot guarantee whether it'll get you chicks. Your looks will have a big say in that.. await a post on how to improve your looks)

Assumptions :

In order to follow the command's you'll need a prior understanding of the game. For eg :

a) Ability to tell your team from the other.
b) Ability to tell the Referee (referred to as Ref in the rest of post) apart from the players .
c) Tell the linesman (the dude in shorts on either side, with a flag in hand, no they are not cheerleaders of either side) apart from the security personal on the side lines, and maybe the Sirasa TV crew.
d) Relative understanding of positions. (No not the Kamasutra and When I say hooker, I don't mean Russian.)


Finally.. Things to Shout Out :

1. "Support", "Forwards", "Over It"

This is when your boy gets tackled and a bunch of players are trampling his genitalia. A common incident that happens in regular intervals. You wouldn't look out of sorts by shouting this.







2. "Off Side"

The difference between off-side and on-side is a fine line that even the Ref, has trouble defining. Therefore feel free to shout out, at usual junctures of the game. (Obviously not during a stoppage of play though. Eg - Half Time)

3. "Holding On Sir", "Not releasing"

Unlike no 1., please feel free to shout this out, when the opponent’s boy gets tackled (with the ball of course, would be rather embarrassing if he appears not to have the ball with him). Please make sure that you give ample time for your boys to go about trampling the Opponent.


4. "Work it down", "Pass it down"

This never happens, because the coach and the players beg to differ, but the "ultimately cool" thing to shout. Make sure you shout it out when the ball is given to those skinny legged players that stand in what would looks like a line across the field. Hence the word "line".








5. “Get-em”, “Bring him down”, “Deepan Okata”

When an opponent starts to run with the ball. This doesn’t mean that they are going to wait till you shout the above to tackle the chap. But after hearing your encouragement your team might decide to treat him in a "friendly manner" while tackling him.





6. "Shove Royal" - assuming your an RC supporter.

This is when a bunch of the fat buggers (Fat Doesn't mean they look less sexy, it's actually more - for the women folk out there) from your team get together and seem to run into a bunch of your opponents. The players must be on their feet, and must continue to curse each other while the Ref isn't looking. The moment they drop to the ground, find it applicable to shout something like "Out it".






7. "Send Him Out"

When a Ref pulls up a player for a friendly chit chat and discuss the day's proceedings, maybe ask the bloke whether he has any cute sister's, shout the above at the top of your voice. Oh BTW, make sure the player in concern is not wearing the Jersey of the Team you happen to support. If the Ref hears you clearly, he will take the opportunity to flash something yellow (I meant a card.. lol), and send that chappie for a well deserved break.







8. "Referee Hora"
When the Ref doesn't hear you in no 7, or the situation in no 7 is happening to one from your team, or if your side is losing shout it out. Specially if a Sirasa TV Camera Crew is nearby. If frustrations run wild, and you find throwable objects nearby don’t be shy to aim at the linesman. The cardinal rule is not to get caught. As soon as the crime was committed, look at the people around you to avoid suspicion. More information can be gathered by speaking to your friends at Thurstan and Isipathana.

9. "Good Touch"

When a boy on your side, is about to make an attempt to kick the ball away, you can shout this out in encouragement so he'd stop eyeing the cute chick in the grand stand and remember to kick the ball out, even though it doesn't seem to travel that far, make sure you applaud and try to figure out who the bloke was eyeing. (That might be your GF with her Rich Parents, while your stuck in the Concrete Tiers)







10. "Ball Out"

This is when a scrum, that is when the heavier dude's of the teams face each other and appear to kneel and pray for the ball to come out their way, technically speaking the Ref, doesn't like them resting their knees. As soon as you see the ball bubbling out on the opponent's side, shout this out. Not that anybody on the field will hear you, and turn this into an opportunity. It will simply appear to the people around you, that your on "top" of the game.


BONUS : "Brian Homa"

If the Rugger match has been rated as popular as the "Sirasa Super Star" programme, you might find the likes of Mr. Brian Thomas giving an introduction prior to the start of the match. Feel free to shout this out, with an opportunity to be selected for the next “Sirasa Super Star” star search. It would be ideal if you could get a friend to shout out "Tell us something we don't know" in unison.

Disclaimer :

Please note that I will not be held responsible for any negative feedback you receive after following the above. If in case you get into trouble, I'm pretty sure that you have missed atleast one step. In doubt please shout out what the others' shout. Find out what team they support prior to this.

I'd also encourage you to count the no of opposition supporters around you, prior to shouting out the above mentioned. A life insurance policy is also a wise option unless you are a hefty bugger that can take a few blows or a skinny bugger that can squeeze through a tight situation. Note - Don't count on your friends to bail you out. Specially the drunk one's.

If any good comes about (I sound very optimistic. Don’t I?) after following my steps please recommend my blog to your friends, who are dying to be as "cool" as you are. I will soon be starting up an Approved Charity where you could donate your life savings towards a movement that would encourage Geeks to be the New Cool Dude's in town.

Contributors are encouraged to add their own things to shout, but would emphasize that I will not be responsible for any negative outcome. If it is positive, I already thought about that, but had to limit my list to 10. :)

Enjoy!

* Pics have been added to illustrate for the pure geek in you.